Spontaneous fictions, x in an occasional series...

A:
I mean
gestures
for fuck’s sake

B:
…but more specifically

A:
generally, though

B:
overall, you mean?

A:
specifically overall, yes

B:
so we can drill down to ‘overall’. it helps to pinpoint these things.

A:
in general

B:
So in summary, for fuck’s sake in general

A:
you got it.

B:
OK. Let’s run with that.

A:
all of that

B:
Tell the boys in the print room to get on it

A:
Oh those guys. Don’t get me started.
For fuck’s sake

B:
Don’t start on them. You know they’ve been short staffed since that thing with Kenny.

A:
Oh, KENNY. Don’t start. For fuck’s sake.
If he can’t sort out his problems with Wilhelm, it’s an HR matter.

B:
Is Kenny part of the overall problem here, generally? As I recall it, he was one of the few guys in the print shop that would even wear overalls. In fact, that was all he was wearing and that was generally the problem.

A:
Jesus. The overalls. Just… for fuck’s sake.

B:
Don’t you be bringing Wilhelm in then. It was dealt with.

A:
Was it though?
Was it?
Then why am I still hearing about it seventeen months later from Katarina in accounts and Taj in procurement?
It’s a fucking rats’ nest down there. I’m not going below the 7th floor for anything less than a gold watch, and you can take that to the bank.
Fucking grief counsellors. For fuck’s sake.
Meanwhile, where is Roy in all of this?

B:
Roy? He’s down on sixth firefighting the rat’s nest.

A:
Yeah, that’s what Janine and Helga have been telling everyone, but have you actually seen him in the building since June?

B:
I get hourly reports every day

A:
I don’t think he’s even a real firefighter.

B:
He was hired as a rat catcher. He’s doing what he can, but he’s only got one flute.

A:
Tell me about it. It’s all I hear from Taj. “Roy needs more flutes!”
Roy needs to spend less time on the golf pitch and a little more grind to the nosestone is what Roy needs.
Then we’ll see about some flute budget wiggle-room.

B:
Well, the only tune he’s playing at the moment is the Downsizing Waltz

A:
Oh for fuck’s sake.

B:
Actually, he does a medley with the Offshoring Blues which is quite catchy

A:
Well, that was always Wilhelm’s favourite, which is partly how we got into this whole situation.
When I started this company I had two things.

B:
A dream and six million pounds?

A:
1) a dream, and 2) six million pounds.
I’ve a good mind to send the security team down to the sixth floor and look for Roy.

B:
Security doesn’t go on sixth any more. You know that

A:
Yes. Because of Roy!
And his damned rats!

B:
It’s because the health plan doesn’t cover the inoculations.

A:
Right. Get onto the insurance team and get those inoculations for the security team.
And tell them to do it as a team.

B:
For fuck’s sake

A:
For fuck’s sake.